Book Review: Were You Ever Told to Be Nice, Only to be Stepped On?




Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of “Too Nice”

by Doreen Virtue


Doreen Virtue is known for blending her psychological background with her belief in the Angelic realm. This book is a prime example of blending of those beliefs. However, anyone that needs to be assertive can benefit from the lessons taught here within.

 Children are always told to be nice in order to get along, however there are many kids that don’t heed that rule. They see an opportunity to gain what they want by manipulating the “nice” kids. Then as both sets grow into adulthood, the advantage-takers grow into more power by stepping on others and the nice grow into passive doormats living a passive/aggressive lifestyle. When their rage eventually rises at the injustice, they become aggressive to their great detriment.

 Doreen’s book outlines lessons for those “nice” people to learn boundaries of when it is okay to be nice, and when it is okay to stand up for themselves. It does teach that by withholding emotions, virtually shutting down, it is their own way of manipulating relationships or attempting to control them. Basically, it boils down to control. The advantage-takers control when the nice (earth angels) want to help too much. Then when the nice (earth angels) get fed up, they become reclusive to the point of trying to control the other’s behavior to get what they want.

 In the end, this book is about communication. Learning to communicate effectively so a generous person is not taken advantage of, and hopefully that an advantageous person sees how they affect overly-generous people.

 This book has little gems of wisdom throughout. It hits on many types of personality that would fit into these stereotypes of being generous. Enabling people, Co-dependent, Rescuers, etc. will find mirrors in the lessons as they relate to themselves. 

 This book can help those who believe in the angelic realm or not. The psychological help in being assertive without being aggressive will appeal to many in our society. It is a wonderful look into the psyche and all of its complications as a result of societal conditioning. How the people around us in everyday relationships form the actions of how we represent ourselves to the public and form the public persona/personalities.  It is a relationship book that teaches how to communicate effectively, but also to bring to light how others affect us by their actions and conversely how our actions affect others.  

 To see other works by Doreen Virtue visit her website at:

 FTC Disclaimer: I was given an ARC of this title by Net Galley and Hay House Publishing for Review purposes without compensation.




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